Mary balfour smart dating
I tell them that, among my clients, it is often the ones who aren’t oil paintings who are the nicest, and if only people would take the trouble to get to know them properly they could have a lovely relationship.” Over the years, both Balfour and Sweetingham have learnt a lot about what works and what doesn’t. Don’t go for dinner – meet for a drink or coffee somewhere neutral and leave with each of you wanting to know more about the other.Both are full of sensible advice for those embarking on the nerve-racking search for a new relationship. Balfour offers date coaching for those who feel nervous (£150 for an initial consultation, £100 a session thereafter).“That is both the key and the problem,” she’s found. People want to find a ready-made relationship, and they want it to be rather more perfect than they’re likely to find.They forget that they themselves are probably not perfect.She, too, thinks that the need for agencies such as hers has grown because of huge social upheaval.Whereas our ancestors got together for economic survival, procreation and, higher up the social ladder, for dynastic reasons, for the consolidation of power and land, today’s lonely hearts are looking for an emotional connection.And you shouldn’t meet again too soon after the first meeting.“Let the momentum build up and don’t worry if there is no instant chemistry – it’s much harder to have that instant buzz in an artificial dating system.” Marriage is not always the main objective these days, either.
We’ve bred a generation that finds divorce acceptable, so there are also many more older people back on the marriage or relationship market.” She goes on to say that the rise of the successful woman has also changed the psychological landscape.
Many people, she says, are nervous and so talk too much about themselves and don’t know how to flirt.
She thinks clients should meet a lot of different people – it takes the pressure off any single relationship.
Today, according to James Wallman, a trends forecaster and editor of LS: N Global website, there are more than 800 dating websites in the UK alone, used by more than one in 10 Brits.
The biggest in the UK, Match.com, has 5.5m members, and another popular one (no doubt because a friend has to write your profile for the site, thus, we imagine, eliminating the nutters), mysinglefriend.com, has over 1m members.